When my daughter, Sabrina, was eight years old, a tornado struck our house. As I held onto Sabrina for dear life, I had no idea this would set off a chain of events that would lead me to the depths of deepest despair and then finally to the point of the greatest joy in my life.
In the five years after the tornado, Sabrina endured seven surgeries, as a result of the falling debris, and was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Her injuries left her with one of her legs shorter than the other, causing her constant and intense back pain.
She learned to block her constant pain with drugs. When she went off her PTSD medication, she started self-medicating with alcohol, pot and cigarettes. She was 16 the first time she was hospitalized with alcohol poisoning.
Like many kids, Sabrina didn't accept that she was beautiful; she believed that boys would never like her because of her disability from the injuries sustained during the tornado many years ago. The truth is that Sabrina was always a lovely and intelligent person, and she did well in school. During her junior and senior years of high school, however, I watched my very attractive and clever daughter go downhill as she descended into the depths of meth addiction.
I realized that my daughter desperately needed help, so I kept trying to help her get into treatment. I told her that I loved her and I would help her get better, but I would not facilitate her addiction.
Searching for Help
Eventually, Sabrina came to me and asked me to help her get into a residential treatment program. I did, and after two weeks, she was kicked out. We found another outpatient program, which Sabrina completed. She was sober for nine months before she started using meth again. The next treatment program was ordered by the drug court, and after she completed the 28-day residential program she asked not to be released, because she knew she was not ready. She was released, and she was right. She ended up back on meth again.
Sabrina had tried five different treatment programs with no visible success. Our insurance paid some of the costs, but I spent thousands of dollars only to find my daughter come full circle to where she had started — a meth addict. Every time she received treatment, I got my hopes up, and every time it failed. I suffered the anguish only a person who loves someone suffering from addiction can truly understand.
I became involved with support groups for families of people suffering from addiction, and met a lot of grandparents, like me, who were in the position of having to be parents to their grandchildren because of meth addiction. Through these support groups, I discovered that meth addiction was an enormous problem. This enormous problem was not being acknowledged, however, because of the intense shame and denial that surrounds it. I experienced this fear of shame and denial in my own family. I was fighting my daughter's addiction to meth and at the same time, I was fighting my family, who didn't want me to "publicly" acknowledge her addiction because it would bring shame on the family as a whole. My family wanted me to disown my daughter, which I could not and would not do.
I became active in my community, fighting for "pseudoephedrine" sales laws in my home state of Minnesota and lobbying lawmakers to help provide resources for people suffering from meth addiction and their families.
I used the serenity prayer often, and asked God to help me change the things I could and recognize the things I could not change. I had felt so much guilt over Sabrina's addiction, and I had to let that go and recognize that most of the time, it was the addiction I was seeing — it was not my child.
Finding PROMETA
When a child is ill, a parent will fight — and fight hard — to find effective medical treatment. I spent hours searching online until I found information about PROMETA®. I read about addiction's impact on brain chemistry, and how PROMETA restores the brain to its natural, pre-addiction state. I called about PROMETA and got more information.
After she was treated with PROMETA,I felt like I had my daughter back. Sabrina's mind was clear and she able to begin to clean up the mess her life had become. She is spending time with her son again. She has returned to college. She has told me that she never would have survived her addiction without me. Those are the sweetest words I, as a mother, have ever heard.
My advice to parents and family members of people suffering from addiction is to never shut the door, and to let them know that when they are ready for help, you will help them get the treatment they need. Remember that there is no guilt or shame in your child or loved one's addiction. Know that when you see glimpses of your loved one through the addiction, there is hope to get the person you love back. I did and am eternally grateful.
Lisa.
Mother of PROMETA Treated Patient
