I started using cocaine and marijuana when I was 11 years old, so drug use wasn’t new to me when I was introduced to methamphetamine. I had a great job, and I even owned my own home. I wasn’t who I thought the typical meth addict looked like, yet I was using meth every day. My last run on meth lasted 13 years. I can remember going to sleep with my pipe in one hand and my dope in the other on a daily basis.

I have a son who is 25 and a 13 year-old daughter. My son has spent time in prison, and I feel responsible for how his life has unfolded thus far. I thought at the time that I was a good mom but now with a clear mind, I realize that I was a horrible mom.

I’ve been abstinent four times in my life. Two of those sober periods were when I was pregnant with my children. The other time that I was sober was when my grandfather, a man who I considered my father, was lying in a coma dying for four months in the hospital. I prayed to just have five minutes with him and I promised him I’d get clean. It was like my prayers had been answered when he awoke from his coma. I kept my promise and stopped using right then and there. I was really doing great. Shortly thereafter, I put myself in a situation where there was alcohol for the adults at my stepdaughter’s sixteenth birthday party. One little congratulatory sip led me from a little tipsy to drunk. I had started using again. The very next day, my grandfather died. I couldn’t deal with that guilt, and for 13 years I used meth to escape and didn’t look back.

I was loaded all the time, and at 41 years of age, I had gotten into a situation where I was arrested and was sentenced to three years probation and a 90-day treatment program. My meth use had gotten really bad at that point. I sold everything I had and it had gotten to the point where I was willing to trade sex for money. I had never been that kind of person, and I didn’t want to go down that road. I tried sobering up, but I just couldn’t stop using.

I didn’t want to use meth; I needed to use meth. I sought help from rehab facilities, and was refused by hundreds of them. Not one rehab would take me. I wrote to national talk shows to get help—no one would help me. My main concern, aside from getting clean, was my young daughter. I refused to leave her for any amount of time to go to an in-patient program, let alone for 90 days. I’m all she has.

One day my mom was watching the news when she saw a piece on the PROMETA Program. We were both interested, so I called the PROMETA program Helpline. When I called, there was an amazing person at the other end of that phone line. He was very patient and caring. What impressed me was the fact that even after I told him I couldn’t afford the treatment, he remained on the line with me for an hour and a half. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like there was hope. After the initial call, I didn’t get the treatment, but I was still very interested. A month passed, and I received a call from the same Helpline representative who had spoken with me previously. He worked with us to figure out our options for payment and for the aftercare that would best suit my situation with my daughter.

I was loaded when I went to my first evaluation at the PROMETA Center. I was skeptical about the treatment and didn’t really believe it could take away my pain. With my mom’s support, I took the leap of faith to take the treatment. The PROMETA Center also took a huge chance on me, and didn’t give up.

After completing the PROMETA program, what I noticed first was that during my previous periods of sobriety, my cravings were always there. This time, I didn’t have a desire to use meth—it was simply gone. It was a freedom that I hadn’t felt for the past 31 years—my freedom from the grips of drug dependence more so the freedom from meth dependence.

The PROMETA Center blew me away with their professionalism; their ability to make me feel like saving my life was their only mission; and their ability to secure a spot for me in a two-week in-patient program—an alternative that would ensure that my time away from my daughter would be minimal.

The PROMETA program was the best thing I could have ever done. I’ve had to change all of my friends entirely, and I stay away from environments and people who could put me in potentially harmful environments and tempting situations.

My life after the PROMETA program looks a whole lot different. I’m a different mom. I am working two jobs and am currently attending school, and exploring my options for becoming a certified chemical dependency counselor. The PROMETA program has given me a new respect for my role as a woman and as a mother, and I am eternally grateful.

Lena

Culver City, CA