Brian's Story

When I graduated from my all-boys military high school, I had my whole future ahead of me. I was always someone who would try anything, so when I went to college, I hit the party scene hard, along with alcohol and drugs. I’m naturally an anxious person, but drinking and drugs helped me to socialize. I never used any drug recreationally in my life. When I drank, I was an alcoholic. When I used other party drugs, I used them daily. I thought I could handle it because I could function very well when I was high. I was that fun party guy who always had the drugs.

It wasn’t long before I learned about cocaine, which I also turned into a daily habit. My cocaine dealer must have known that I would be his best customer, and let me try some crystal methamphetamine. The first day I tried meth I was hooked. I was a slave to meth for the next seven years—lying, cheating and stealing to please my master.
I dropped out of college, but I did get my Ph.D. in meth. I lived how I wanted with no responsibilities and I never slept. My whole life was a never-ending cycle of me finding meth and doing meth.

I moved back home and told my parents about my substance abuse problem. I was able to hide my use because I was very smart about structuring my life around my meth habit. I targeted jobs that allowed me to minimally work and still use meth, such as collections jobs. I lost all of my impulse control and even developed a gambling habit. All of the money I was making at my job was feeding my meth and gambling habits. On the surface, I was functioning, but my whole life was about what I could do while I was still using. If an activity interfered with my using, I wouldn’t do that activity. So, in my mind, I could do computer jobs really well while I was high, which was my rationalization for going to computer school, even though I never liked computers.

For six of those uncontrollable seven years, I had a relationship with my girlfriend, turned fiancé. She’s never known me as anyone other than a meth addict, so she only noticed differences in me when I couldn’t get meth. It’s scary to think that at that time in my life, if I had to choose meth or the woman I loved, meth would win hands down. How could I marry a woman when I was already married to my life partner, meth?

I hated using meth and I hated the fact that I had to be a low-down person to feed my disease. None of my meth friends had been successful in rehab, and I was always told that there was no way to beat meth. With no examples of success and a hopeless message, I knew that I didn’t have a chance at survival. I could see no other way to escape my life than to kill myself and make it look like an accident for the sake of my family. For some reason, I figured that I should try rehab one time before I attempted suicide.

I finally came clean to my family and my fiancé, who was on the verge of calling off the engagement, about everything. My brother’s girlfriend knew about the PROMETA Treatment Program. I didn’t have any high hopes that the treatment would work for me because I had never known any of my friends to stay clean after their treatment programs. I researched the PROMETA Treatment Program, and felt comfortable enough to trust my family to help me.

When I arrived at the PROMETA Center® for my treatment, I had used up to the day of my treatment, and was extremely dehydrated. Of course, I was afraid because I did not know what to expect. The staff took great care of me and made me feel comfortable. I sat in the chair and began watching a baseball game. I remember waking up to viewing my world in bright colors. The best way for me to describe what I experienced when I opened my eyes was that before the PROMETA program, I had been seeing things in a fog. It was like the fog of meth addiction was lifted from my sight. It was like I was viewing my surroundings through the quality of a high-definition television.

After the PROMETA Treatment Program, it was really weird because I tried to think about meth, but I couldn’t. In fact, just looking at the meth pipe disgusted me. I haven’t had the desire to use meth since completing the program. To support my recovery, I continue to see my addiction counselor once a week, and am now able to rationally think about how to fix my bad days instead of masking them with meth.

In the past, I avoided my family like the plague, and would only reach out to them for money. Now, I visit several times throughout the week. Not long ago, my parents would not tell me when they were leaving for fear that I would steal from them. It seems like a small thing to the average person, but it’s huge for me to know that my parents now trust me to watch their home. My fiancé and I are making plans for our new life together as husband and wife. She loves me, even though she’s getting to know a new person, who’s not the man she originally fell in love with. It’s cool because I’m getting to know this new person, too. We have the rest of our lives to explore and support each other.

The PROMETA Treatment Program has given me the gift of hope, something I never had before. Once again, my future is ahead of me. I now have pride and dignity, and it feels amazing to be trusted by the people I love. Without the PROMETA Treatment Program, I believe that I would either be dead or in jail by now. Instead, I am researching the steps needed to become a substance abuse counselor to help others save themselves.

Brian